Sunday, August 31, 2003
Ahhh another day, another .50 cent.... atleast it feels like that is all they pay me.... SOOO summer camp is over WOO HOOOO now I can go back to getting some rest during the day and perhaps getting the house roped back in from that which it has evolved to... We had a fun summer - trips to the beach, amusement parks, parks, swimming, bowling, movies, etc... It was a nice time for everyone!!! And now we start school on the 3rd for Deven and the 8th for Dilen - Dilen and I will have a few days of just him and I this week - time I think he needs...
Things w/E have their ups and downs - he's driving me insane but knock on wood I will have enough $$ to file this week... As it looks right now I will... YA HOOOOOOO
Not too much else at the moment - I'll add more later... it's off to get a few things done here at work on swing shift... Til next time...
Things w/E have their ups and downs - he's driving me insane but knock on wood I will have enough $$ to file this week... As it looks right now I will... YA HOOOOOOO
Not too much else at the moment - I'll add more later... it's off to get a few things done here at work on swing shift... Til next time...
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Leaving my brain on is a dangerous thing... The more I think about things the more I think I am gonna take a step away from the message boards I frequent for a bit... My emotions in general are too raw and I seem to do nothing but piss off and alienate people left and right these days... Not to mention I am just plain fed up with everything going on... Maybe I just need a break from everything and everyone.... I think that I am gonna take some time to enjoy the last of the "official" summer w/the boys and just have a good time in general... The break will be good for all.... I have friends I am in contact with regularly in various ways so I won't be totally out of touch... Yeap - sounds like a plan to me.... Til next time...
*sigh* Breath in, breath out.... breath in, breath out.... Sooo my life is a series of ups and downs lately.... E is playing mind games and when he's mad at me for whatever crap, real or imagined, he threatens to contest just to screw w/my head... Now I have to play nice nice nice for the next 2 months just to prevent him from being a super asshole....
Summer camp is almost over - we have had a great time... Tomorrow Dev's group and the other 2 "school age" kids go to Black Beard's Caves - an amusement park of sorts - I can't wait.... Then on Sat I am taking the boys to Fantasy Island Park for rides - a former co-worker works there and is giving us free wristbands for the day!!! Last weekend we went to Hurricane Harbor w/friends... It was really nice.. we had a fun time and it was nice to forget my troubles for a few hours... AND I finally got my answer on the "credit" issue for all my time at summer camp... basically I got one of the 2 months for free... AND I am now officially a Sub Teacher at the preschool... WOO HOOO I am excited!!!
Deven starts back to school on the 3rd - still waiting to hear on who his teacher will be... should know that tomorrow I am hoping... Dilen will start back on the 8th - 1/2 day Mon and full time - T-F... Then my life will FINALLY calm down and I will be able to clean the house and get some rest!!!!! I can't wait... things have fallen so far behind btwn the busy schedule and lack of desire and energy I can't wait to get in there and scrub and catch up!!!
The board CRAP is finally settled... those that wish will stay at 54 and those that wish will stay at TPP but all are welcome at both boards... HOWEVER there was some serious nasty crap going on and it was NOT necessary and totally uncalled for... 1st of all - rather then biting my ass off back when I tried to reunite us all before the rift was too great we should have all just acted more mature and set our sights on what was important... continuing friendships and family... But too much time as past and too many are well cemented where they are and the entire issue was being beaten to death... 2nd - there were underlying troubles LONG before IV/PP caused all the turmoil and perhaps eventually we would have had 2 separate communities anyway... 3rd - NO ONE and I mean NO ONE deserves to be blamed for any of the crap other then IV/PP as well as myself and another... if ANYONE or THING is at fault look to those 3 areas and not innocent people.... LASTLY - These blogs are for the author to voice their personal thoughts and opinions... If you don't like it or or don't agree that's your choice - just don't read -- but it's not right or necessary to attack the person for their feelings... It's far better to blog it out in a place such as this then bring the ugliness and drama to a community message board AND since it IS on a blog it should STAY on the blog and not be brought to a message board... I find the recent actions of some to be horrible... not to say that I am without sin because my actions recently have left me ashamed for being soo petty and childish but the vicious attacks on someone that is merely a board member was WAY out of line.... I think that there are a few people that really need to get a life and just move on.... There has been WAY WAY too much ugliness and it's beginning to drive people away - why should they stick around and watch people being attacked and bickering over and over... Let well enough alone and let's learn to live in harmony separately... Til next time....
Summer camp is almost over - we have had a great time... Tomorrow Dev's group and the other 2 "school age" kids go to Black Beard's Caves - an amusement park of sorts - I can't wait.... Then on Sat I am taking the boys to Fantasy Island Park for rides - a former co-worker works there and is giving us free wristbands for the day!!! Last weekend we went to Hurricane Harbor w/friends... It was really nice.. we had a fun time and it was nice to forget my troubles for a few hours... AND I finally got my answer on the "credit" issue for all my time at summer camp... basically I got one of the 2 months for free... AND I am now officially a Sub Teacher at the preschool... WOO HOOO I am excited!!!
Deven starts back to school on the 3rd - still waiting to hear on who his teacher will be... should know that tomorrow I am hoping... Dilen will start back on the 8th - 1/2 day Mon and full time - T-F... Then my life will FINALLY calm down and I will be able to clean the house and get some rest!!!!! I can't wait... things have fallen so far behind btwn the busy schedule and lack of desire and energy I can't wait to get in there and scrub and catch up!!!
The board CRAP is finally settled... those that wish will stay at 54 and those that wish will stay at TPP but all are welcome at both boards... HOWEVER there was some serious nasty crap going on and it was NOT necessary and totally uncalled for... 1st of all - rather then biting my ass off back when I tried to reunite us all before the rift was too great we should have all just acted more mature and set our sights on what was important... continuing friendships and family... But too much time as past and too many are well cemented where they are and the entire issue was being beaten to death... 2nd - there were underlying troubles LONG before IV/PP caused all the turmoil and perhaps eventually we would have had 2 separate communities anyway... 3rd - NO ONE and I mean NO ONE deserves to be blamed for any of the crap other then IV/PP as well as myself and another... if ANYONE or THING is at fault look to those 3 areas and not innocent people.... LASTLY - These blogs are for the author to voice their personal thoughts and opinions... If you don't like it or or don't agree that's your choice - just don't read -- but it's not right or necessary to attack the person for their feelings... It's far better to blog it out in a place such as this then bring the ugliness and drama to a community message board AND since it IS on a blog it should STAY on the blog and not be brought to a message board... I find the recent actions of some to be horrible... not to say that I am without sin because my actions recently have left me ashamed for being soo petty and childish but the vicious attacks on someone that is merely a board member was WAY out of line.... I think that there are a few people that really need to get a life and just move on.... There has been WAY WAY too much ugliness and it's beginning to drive people away - why should they stick around and watch people being attacked and bickering over and over... Let well enough alone and let's learn to live in harmony separately... Til next time....
Monday, August 18, 2003
Well today had to be one of the most emotionally exhausting and draining days of my life... We went to the courthouse with the separation agreement we sweated out tears over and asked for the paperwork to file for divorce... Well according to the pro se booklet we got the reason we were using for the divorce isn't one of the options we have... So after much arguing, tears, talking, mental torture, more tears and pure hell we have finally come to yet ANOTHER agreement as we work around the system to get divorced since we both admit neither of us wants to be married anymore to the other...
Sooo filing is delayed til next payday since the fee is more then I had anticipated and I have some revisions to make to the separation paperwork...
Add to all that a visit to the doctor for an ear infection - in MY ear mind you, not one of the boys.... But in addition to the ear infection it seems I have SHINGLES in my ear canal... Gee can't imagine WHY I would have shingles - which by the way are often the result of STRESS!!!!! Sooo I am on antibiotics and prescription ear drops for the next week...
Other then that it was a good weekend - I got the grass cut, did some weeding, got some laundry done and that was about it... Now to go do a little work and then just veg.... Til next time...
Sooo filing is delayed til next payday since the fee is more then I had anticipated and I have some revisions to make to the separation paperwork...
Add to all that a visit to the doctor for an ear infection - in MY ear mind you, not one of the boys.... But in addition to the ear infection it seems I have SHINGLES in my ear canal... Gee can't imagine WHY I would have shingles - which by the way are often the result of STRESS!!!!! Sooo I am on antibiotics and prescription ear drops for the next week...
Other then that it was a good weekend - I got the grass cut, did some weeding, got some laundry done and that was about it... Now to go do a little work and then just veg.... Til next time...
Saturday, August 16, 2003
This week was a good week in general - the boys and I had a nice time at summer camp and I have managed to get a few nights of sleep!! WOOO HOOOOO Of course we won't talk about that first night when I awoke at 1:15am in a panic... I stumbled around looking for the phone, called work thinking I was late and why hadn't anyone called for me... well just as they answered I realized I was off for the night - "Sorry wrong number" and back to bed I went! *L* OOPS My poor brain didn't know which way was up!!
I am trying to get my butt moving to get the house straightened up as it's cluttered and messy and SLOWLY I am wading through it... I did manage to cut the grass and weed out one sadly neglected flower bed today though... tomorrow I hope to do a bit more AND get the pool cleaned out and refilled...
Things with E WERE going too smoothly - he's been nit picking the Separation agreement all week... wanting this and that removed or changed only to put it back in later after he's worked me up and argued over it.. BUT I think we have finally gotten it fully completed and will go to the courthouse on Monday to file....
Well it's off to finish some work and just veg for the rest of the shift... Til next time...
I am trying to get my butt moving to get the house straightened up as it's cluttered and messy and SLOWLY I am wading through it... I did manage to cut the grass and weed out one sadly neglected flower bed today though... tomorrow I hope to do a bit more AND get the pool cleaned out and refilled...
Things with E WERE going too smoothly - he's been nit picking the Separation agreement all week... wanting this and that removed or changed only to put it back in later after he's worked me up and argued over it.. BUT I think we have finally gotten it fully completed and will go to the courthouse on Monday to file....
Well it's off to finish some work and just veg for the rest of the shift... Til next time...
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Ok Ok Ok so I haven't updated in AGES... It's been a rough week + for those in the G Household... But first - that LONG awaited Canada update ( and YES Karin I WILL get the pics in the mail to you on CD by next week - PROMISE!!!)... we had a BLAST!!
The Falls themselves are beautiful and we really enjoyed the lights and fireworks at night... There is sooo much to do there - all this great, gawdy, touristy stuff that we need to go back and do now that we have done the actual Falls stuff.... I have told the boys in 2 yrs but heck maybe sooner!!! Now meeting w/Karin, Cassie, Kath, Brenda, Kelli, Stacy and Marilyn (did I cover everyone?) was absolutely FABULOUS!!! It was great to see Karin, Cas, Kelli and Stacy again... and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting Marilyn, Kath and Brenda!! All the women are absolutely wonderful ladies.. and once again it amazed me at the ease w/which we all got along - just falling into things as if we had known each other forever - well we have but never f2f so it is always a great surprise how well everyone gets along and how comfortable everyone becomes sooo quickly... My only regret of the weekend is that there just wasn't enough "Mommy" time... we didn't really have alot of time to all of us to sit and gab and get to know each other better... but the time we did have was fun!!! Once again I had no regrets about attending a meet!!!
Now meeting up w/Ripal again and having Cindy, Alicia, Tara and Ingrid there last week (it was just last weekend wasn't it?) was great too!!! I had a wonderful time seeing Ripal, Tara, Alicia and Cindy again and meeting Ingrid was wonderful too!! Brenna is such a lovely little miss as is Julia however I think the boys had meet their match in her!!! I look forward to another NJ meet soon!!!!
Work and summer camp are going well I have to say - keeping me busy if not exhausted for sure... I am back to 7 night stretches and picking up a few swing shifts from 4-12 just to avoid those couple of boring, dragged out days in the "day" office... And I have increased my time at summer camp to 4 days a week...
Last week was my 34th birthday... A bittersweet day to say the least - YES STEPH I DID hide away from the world last week and I admit it... I just needed to struggle with my pain myself for a little while... I SHOULD have been holding a newborn for my birthday and it hurt to face that I wasn't.... for all his faults I do have to say that E was wonderful though once he realized the REAL reason I didn't want to acknowledge my birthday..... But godbless the boys who INSISTED that we were gonna do my birthday!! The best present I received that day (which was NOT sleeping in late or even past 6:30 btw) was the love and affection of the boys.... and Deven lost his very first baby tooth ever on my birthday.... He lost it while on a trip w/the summer camp and the bus driver, who is a friend, saved it for him and he was just soo excited to tell me about it when I got back to the school from my trip.... The director gave him the cutest little necklace w/a little plastic tooth you put your tooth in for keeping.... Now to find those gold dollar coins (sorry can't spell that indian name this morning!) so that the Tooth Fairy can finally visit and leave them along w/a ribbon celebrating his first tooth loss....
Now fast forward just a few short days to this week - I bought a used mini-van as we were back down to one car and a small 2 dr at that... and we signed the separation papers.... Yes folks we actually DID IT!!! By the end of next week when I file the notarized papers w/the courthouse I will be officially separated and divorce will be pending.... E and I are actually getting along rather well and he's doing well w/handling it all but I can't help but wonder if he seems to believe I am NOT gonna go thru it in the end.... Sadly the joke will be on him.... BUT I feel great about it, it's like a burden has been lifted and I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel again...
Well I really need to try to grab a SMALL cat nap as all this lack of sleep lately has been stuck in the funk I fell into last week but I will be back again soon w/more.... Til next time...
The Falls themselves are beautiful and we really enjoyed the lights and fireworks at night... There is sooo much to do there - all this great, gawdy, touristy stuff that we need to go back and do now that we have done the actual Falls stuff.... I have told the boys in 2 yrs but heck maybe sooner!!! Now meeting w/Karin, Cassie, Kath, Brenda, Kelli, Stacy and Marilyn (did I cover everyone?) was absolutely FABULOUS!!! It was great to see Karin, Cas, Kelli and Stacy again... and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting Marilyn, Kath and Brenda!! All the women are absolutely wonderful ladies.. and once again it amazed me at the ease w/which we all got along - just falling into things as if we had known each other forever - well we have but never f2f so it is always a great surprise how well everyone gets along and how comfortable everyone becomes sooo quickly... My only regret of the weekend is that there just wasn't enough "Mommy" time... we didn't really have alot of time to all of us to sit and gab and get to know each other better... but the time we did have was fun!!! Once again I had no regrets about attending a meet!!!
Now meeting up w/Ripal again and having Cindy, Alicia, Tara and Ingrid there last week (it was just last weekend wasn't it?) was great too!!! I had a wonderful time seeing Ripal, Tara, Alicia and Cindy again and meeting Ingrid was wonderful too!! Brenna is such a lovely little miss as is Julia however I think the boys had meet their match in her!!! I look forward to another NJ meet soon!!!!
Work and summer camp are going well I have to say - keeping me busy if not exhausted for sure... I am back to 7 night stretches and picking up a few swing shifts from 4-12 just to avoid those couple of boring, dragged out days in the "day" office... And I have increased my time at summer camp to 4 days a week...
Last week was my 34th birthday... A bittersweet day to say the least - YES STEPH I DID hide away from the world last week and I admit it... I just needed to struggle with my pain myself for a little while... I SHOULD have been holding a newborn for my birthday and it hurt to face that I wasn't.... for all his faults I do have to say that E was wonderful though once he realized the REAL reason I didn't want to acknowledge my birthday..... But godbless the boys who INSISTED that we were gonna do my birthday!! The best present I received that day (which was NOT sleeping in late or even past 6:30 btw) was the love and affection of the boys.... and Deven lost his very first baby tooth ever on my birthday.... He lost it while on a trip w/the summer camp and the bus driver, who is a friend, saved it for him and he was just soo excited to tell me about it when I got back to the school from my trip.... The director gave him the cutest little necklace w/a little plastic tooth you put your tooth in for keeping.... Now to find those gold dollar coins (sorry can't spell that indian name this morning!) so that the Tooth Fairy can finally visit and leave them along w/a ribbon celebrating his first tooth loss....
Now fast forward just a few short days to this week - I bought a used mini-van as we were back down to one car and a small 2 dr at that... and we signed the separation papers.... Yes folks we actually DID IT!!! By the end of next week when I file the notarized papers w/the courthouse I will be officially separated and divorce will be pending.... E and I are actually getting along rather well and he's doing well w/handling it all but I can't help but wonder if he seems to believe I am NOT gonna go thru it in the end.... Sadly the joke will be on him.... BUT I feel great about it, it's like a burden has been lifted and I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel again...
Well I really need to try to grab a SMALL cat nap as all this lack of sleep lately has been stuck in the funk I fell into last week but I will be back again soon w/more.... Til next time...
